Say THANK YOU, Next Time Someone Calls You A Pussy

People insult each other daily. Sometimes it’s just for fun, sometimes it’s out of pure rage and other times we don’t even know why we use foul language. We cuss without realizing, and we curse without giving a shit. Oops, see you know what I mean.

Profanity is everywhere — it’s often pretty sexist too, but who cares.

“You hit like a girl.”

“You are a dirty c%*t.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Don’t be such a pussy.”

Oh, wait, this one I like! Being called a pussy is awesome. I wish everyone I meet calls me a pussy. I won’t even mind if my Mom calls me a pussy. Now I wonder if I can call my future kid pussy too — okay too far.

The truth is, don’t be offended. Next time someone calls you a pussy, just say thank you, maybe even give them a little bow or clap because what most people don’t realize is that being called a pussy isn’t an insult at all. It doesn’t imply weakness. A Vagina might be soft but it is also incredibly strong, resilient and powerful.

So being called a pussy is basically someone telling you that you are the baddest badass you can possibly be and that in my books, is a god damn compliment!

I wish I would have come up with this conclusion all by myself, but I have not. South Africa’s finest, Trevor Noah kindly pointed out the power of the vagina in his latest Netflix comedy special and gets down to the bottom as to why we should all aspire to be a little bit more pussy-like in life.

The vagina is weak. Don’t be a pussy … and yet, in my personal experience, I have found the pussy to be one of the strongest things I have ever come across in my life.

“Don’t be a pussy?”

Have you ever come across a pussy? You realize vaginas can start revolutions and end wars. You realize, even on a physical level, the vagina is one of the strongest things that have ever existed. Virtually indestructible. Many men have tales of how they once defeated the pussy. Let me tell you now, they have not.

The owner of the pussy may have given you the impression that you defeated the pussy, but it is alive and well, my friends. Whenever people say that, I go, “Do you understand how impressive the vagina is? Do you understand how strong it is?” There’s a reason men have sought to oppress it for so long. The vagina is frighteningly powerful. You realize that human beings come out of a vagina.

Do you understand how impressive that is? A human being with arms, legs and an oversized head comes out of a vagina and still, it continues to work as intended. Pussies give life, and they take care of it too. Pussies fly to space and win marathons. Pussies run companies and stop civil wars but yet our society still thinks they ain’t strong enough.

Strength is one thing, but power is where it’s really at. The pussy has power most people aren’t even aware of. It has the ability to control men, no, I mean minds — oh well, same same, and make them do (or don’t do) things no other body part, human being or drug can do.

The world’s smartest; applauded for their achievements and regarded for their intellectual capacity were all known for their inability to stay faithful. Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawkins, Donald Trump all gave in to the power of the pussy. 2 out of the 3 were smart enough to re-define physics and explain the power of black holes but were all outsmarted by vaginas that did not belong to their respective wives.

The last name here; I’m not even sure why he made the list. He hasn’t really contributed anything significant other than grabbing them by the pussy and get away with it — but that’s for another day.

Contrary to popular belief, a pussy is a great thing! It’s positive, it’s reliable and resilient — let no one tell you otherwise! Next time you hear someone throwing out the phrase slap him/her with the truth AND call him/her a penis too.

Let’s be honest, a penis is weak as poop. Zero resilience and little endurance. Strong and powerful for maybe 3 or 4 minutes — but that’s on good days. The balls aren’t much better, but at least they aren’t used as a reference for courage right?

Oh, wait…They are.