Presidencies Won’t Last Forever But Besties Do

September 19, 2020
3 min read

“He has one; I want a Hollywood friend too!”

Trump was clearly shaken up watching Obama boogie, having a good time with Ellen Degeneres, the only person who rivals Donald for the worst haircut in the world, on her show.

“First Kennedy and Reagan and now Obama. Even Mike Pence has C-list celebrity friends. What about me? I’m the president of the United States — every star should want to be my friend, I’m huge! Melania — find me one!”

“Sure, I’ll go through my phone.

Michelle Wolf?”

“No way — filthy comedian.”

“You could befriend Oprah.”

“Oprah?! Very insecure. I want someone like me. Smart, handsome and very rich.”

“How about Mark Cuban?”

“No, no, no. He is not smart enough to run for president.”

“Arnold Schwarzenegger?”

“Please, Melania, He’s swamped by poor ratings.”

“Donnie, what about Snoop Dogg?”

“Snoop Dogg, with his failing career and all? No, no no.
I like Hip-Hop, but I don’t want the thugs and Latinos. I like clean-cut, rich private school boy turned homeboy kinda guy. Someone like Drake but not Drake because he is foreign. I don’t like foreign, no offense Melania. I want the whitest, most powerful African-American Hip-Hop artist as my bestie!”

“Kanye West?”

“Yes, I want Kanye!”

This, or pretty similar, is how the 45th President of the United States of America made a new best pal last week. Their first encounter was exciting for both. It made Donnie a little less insecure and Kanye a little whiter.

Not much has been written about the date since neither of the two wanted any fake news on site. Both men, however, took to Twitter after the rendezvous, tweeting about the collaboration on a song, so huge that South Korea’s President hand-delivered a copy of the track to his Northern counterpart due to the lack of Spotify, making it the first encounter between Korean leaders in more than a decade.

The self-proclaimed “chosen ones” are lighting up the US Billboard charts while putting out fires in North East Asia. A noble act of genius even Fox News and CNN agree on. The whole world is applauding the duo except Putin who is still mad at Trump’s canceled friend request on Facebook. Oh, and there is Zuckerberg too, but Zucky is angry at everyone who values privacy, so no big deal.

Recent emails leaked from Hilary’s computer show that a video clip is in the works starring both Kim K. and Melania in undisclosed roles. This is particularly striking since it will be the first real job for both women. Donnie Trump Jr. was scheduled to appear in the music video too, but he will be off on a hunting trip chasing the Western Black Rhinoceros and Obama’s birth certificate in Kenya during the shoot.

The two world’s best keyboard warriors are due to officially reveal their song on August 20, 2018, at the MTV Music Awards, presumably under the stage name “400 years of choice”.

Taylor Swift apparently, isn’t thrilled.

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